The dream

As most of you may know, It’s when children are 15, 16 or 17 that they decide whether they want to be a doctor, an engineer, a politician or go to Mars or to the moon.

For me, it was always that « crazy » dream of becoming a surgeon, as most of my friends, family members, called it.
For them, it only meant years of studies and hard work for a job full of stress and problems, and a far away path for someone whose parents and family aren’t doctors or health professionals.

Most of them were wondering, and couldn’t resist to ask me:
« why ? what’s so great about blood and death? about stress and anxiety ?
what’s so great about leaving your family at 3 am for a patient you don’t even know?
who wants to work 24 hours, weekends, and holidays? »
why not choose a regular daily job? you’ll do better and the salary is good.

But looking in the mirror every morning, i only saw one reflection, my reflection as a doctor, wearing a white coat and a black stethoscope, i saw the same picture over and over, every morning, everyday.

I had many other options in life to get a good job, a good life, but it wasn’t just a question of doing any work the right way. I knew that I could do everything right and still feel out-of-place.
I never left those questions put me down and just kept going, focusing on my dream, step by step, until it became closer and closer to become a reality.

Years later, between hospital walls as a medical student, I have seen many new things, and known the face of adversity. I have seen much of sadness, death and dying, suffering and sorrow.  I’ve recalled the fatigue and frustration felt by young parents with children in need.

But as crazy as it may sound to most people : it didn’t pull me back from the field, or make me regret my choice, like most of them were expecting.

It was the opposite: every bad day, every sad experience, every mistake, every moment of stress, anxiety, anger, only dragged me deeper and deeper into this world.
I was sure that this is where i belong, it’s not my future job, nor a career, it’s my identity.

I am that crazy young guy you all tried to convince, years ago, not to enter this world, laughed at me, discouraged me, tried to take away my motivation, tried to make my dream vanish.

Today, i can proudly say that i got there as a medical student, and I’ll keep going until i get to be a surgeon.

I am a doctor – for me it’s a special mission, a devotion. It calls for involvement, respect and willingness to help all other people, it’s who I am, it’s me.

Aymane Ait Haj Kaddour

Aymane Ait Haj Kaddour

Médecine générale UM6SS
Rédacteur en anglais
Membre du club Hope UM6SS
Créateur du contenu médical ( page Instagram)

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