What is to be a Woman?

 It is frankly a question still to be answered.

We have all grown up surrounded by many women.

Idols we’ve seen on television, movies stars and singers, actresses, motherly figures, older friends and so on..

It is a question that I asked myself many times, laying around in my room, staring blankly at a Marylin Monroe’s poster. I looked at the curvy figure, the dazzling smile, the red pouty lips.

And then I asked myself:

How does one be a woman or become a woman? Is it a matter of femininity, a matter of beauty and properly manners, or is it a cosmetic matter?

Does wearing a frilly dress or a bright red lipstick make you any more of a woman?

And if it does for how long?

I’ve kept on wondering, I’ve documented myself on the matter and throughout my life, brought to me by all sorts of involvement: I’ve come to say that being a woman is truly something that cannot be defined. Neither it is something that can happen because of a triggering factor.

One is a woman when one chooses to.

A woman is a man and a man is a woman.

What I mean by that is that they mutually are part of a sizzling society, that both genders belong to something far greater: a united human race.

You’re not a man because you’re strong or because you are virile and raspy.

You’re not a woman because you are pretty and docile.

Those are Ladies and Gentlemen, prototypes that have been downed on us, molds and criteres that society made up. Those are stereotypes, labels…. Casts.

It is as simple as that.

Do not tire yourself trying to conform to an etiquette of womanly manners or things that will supposedly make you a “woman”.

I think that a woman is a woman. She shouldn’t need to do certain things to reaffirm that position, to prove to others that she is indeed a woman.

A woman shouldn’t be afraid of cutting her hair as that will make her appear manlier.

And a man should not be afraid to of letting go of his emotions, crying, being expressive, open, or demonstrative about something as it would make him appear weaker, more feminine alike.

Let yourself be what you want to be.

Free yourself from unnecessary protocols and decorum.

Just let it be.

A lipstick or a skirt does not make you any much more of a woman.

For centuries and centuries; Femininity had been something set out, written down as if it was rules to follow, a recipe to a presumably ‘Beautiful Woman’.

 I thought to myself:

Is femininity defined by the fact that you possess ovaries?

Breasts? Is it the reproductive system that defines this femininity? Is it the act of being able to bear children or give life?

Then again, to each question I had a different answer, reversing the first.

What about a sterile woman? A small chested one?

Is all there is to a woman, a simple primitive system?

I’ve come across so many quotes, so many books trying again and again to define what a woman was. Some said it was the complement to a man’s life. That a women’s ultimate’s place belonged within a man’s arms, bearing his children, cooking for him, providing him comfort and service.

The way this is laid out, is almost as if a woman didn’t have any ambitions or aspirations. There were books to guide a woman on how to be The Perfect Housewife, advices people give on how to please him, be the perfect half.

 Almost as if she had no desire of her own, that all her happiness came from the sole purpose of serving her husband, and being a good lawful wife.

Nowadays, times have changed. Women have let their desire flow, they have let themselves be.

Women strive for education, knowledge. They will STILL love and care as nothing will ever change that.

Being a woman is not something you can define or set out rules for by any means.

I met so many women out there, and I combed for answers, but I have come to the most final one.

That I am a Woman.

So are many, many other Women out there.

And in each one of us lies the answer.

Femininity is everything, it’s a universe including all of us.

We are who we want to be.

Ghita Bendani

Ghita Bendani

Médecine générale UM6SS
Membre fondadrice du journal
Rédactrice et rédactrice en chef en anglais et français
Gagnante du prix franciades 2017
Gagnante concours des jeunes journalistes pour l’environnement 2017
Gagnante concours HEM : graine de citoyen des joutes oratoires édition 2018

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